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April 13, 2014, at 7:02 pm

Damn Taxes & Bad Health!

Went out shopping with Dad and Rosie… Ollies, K-Mart, The Cookout…. more like browsing, wishing, and hoping.

Rosie did find 2 pairs of jeans @  $2.99 each!

Dad owes the IRS $923.00 in TAXES on his Social Security and UMWA Pension. UGH! Not fair that after working all his life (he is now 73) that he has to pay taxes on his retirement!

It will wipe out ALL that is left in his Savings. He has had to PAY taxes for the last 8 years now. We had a decent amount in savings but all of us have health issues and  it depleted quicker than we had planned on.

Not easy to have major health issues. We all have insurance that pays about 80%-and even up to 100% at times BUT when a surgery and hospitalization goes into the hundred thousand dollar range it gets expensive. Plus it costs a small fortune for co-pay for meds, traveling back and forth to doctors, hospitals, labs, ER.  Just glad we do have insurance. Blessed to have it. Thanks Obama and The Affordable Care Act for all you have done to help America.

Some weeks we would drive 1000 miles back and forth between Charleston and Pineville,WV when Mom had to have her leg amputated and then therapy.

When Dad injured his back on the job in Virginia and we lived in West Virginia… he had to drive 250 miles round trip 3x a week for physical therapy!

SADLY it seems my family has spent most of our lives waiting and the doctor’s office, ER, Hospital or traveling to and from those places.

Mom’s Health: Diabetic Insulin Dependent, COPD, Endometrial Cancer, Hysterectomy, Breast Polyps, Multiple Strokes, Hypertension, Hypercholesterolemia, Renal insufficiency, MRSA. Ending up having both legs amputated above the knee due to Atherosclerosis.Injured her back in a car accident and needed 6 months of therapy 3x’s a week, 80 mile round-trip.  She passed away in 2006. Miss you much Mommy.

Dad’s Health : Diabetic Insulin Dependent, Herniated Discs, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Osteoarthritis, Carpal Tunnel, COPD, Sleep Apnea, Allergies, Hypertension, Oral Cancer, Glossectomy, Charcot-Marie-Tooth, Hypercholesterolemia, Benign prostatic hyperplasia.

Rosie’s Health: Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (age of 6) With Linear Scleroderma, Had a Splenectomy due to Hemolytic Anemia associated with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Contracture of Ankles, Elbows, Wrists, Fingers, Toes, & Shoulders.  Allergies, Osteoarthritis, MRSA, Cholecystectomy, Septicemia, Scoliosis, 4 Umbilical Hernia Repairs, Osteoporosis, Hypothyroidism, Menorrhagia, Endometrial Hyperplasia, Gastric Bypass BilioPancreatic with Duodenal Switch, Severe Malnutrition from Gastric Bypass… had to have the BPD/DS partially reversed to rectify the malnutrition. Formerly Morbid Obesity, Diabetics and Hypertensive. Been wheelchair bound since 16. She is now 46…has spent 30 years wheelchair bound. Was on TPN and feeding tubes for over a year. Was once Diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer but a few D&C’s it got it all. PTL!

Angela’s Health: Diabetes (Insulin Dependent from age 16-to-46 now takes Victoza and Metformin) Fibromyalgia, Rhabdomyolysis, Renal Failure, Dialysis, Depression, Dysthymia, Social Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Charcot-Marie-Tooth, Hypothyroidism, Endometrial Hyperplasia, Anemia, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Allergies, Gastroparesis, Chronic Fatigue, Insomnia, Adhesive Capsulitis of Shoulder (through intense physical therapy I regained use of my arms and shoulders), Dupuytren’s Contracture (Daily therapy at home), Short Achilles Tendon… (Daily therapy at home) Neuropathy, Sleep Apnea, Menorrhagia, Septicemia(age of 5). Cholecystectomy, Hypertension (age 16) Now off hypertension meds as well as the Insulin Pump due to Gastric Bypass Roux-n-y. Formerly Morbid Obese. 2 Suicide Attempts. Was once Diagnosed with Endometrial Cancer but a few D&C’s it got it all. PTL! Yes, Both Rosie and I had the same situation.

Whew! That is more than enough for one family to handle!

I just pray that in the future all of our health improves for the better… and so does our financial circumstances.

Surrendering it all to our Lord God Almighty,

Angela

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April 9, 2014, at 6:42 pm

Social Anxiety

Just some random thoughts:

I have dealt with Social Anxiety all my life. I can go through moods where I am more extroverted than other times. Right now it is split right in the middle… who knows what it will be tomorrow…

I only talk on the phone to Doctor Offices. In the last year, I have only spoken to 2 family members & one friend(Dani-Shae) by phone. Rosie talks to our family more often than I do.

I get so stressed knowing I am going to have to talk on the phone. Always have.

We didn’t have a phone in our house growing up. Didn’t have the money for one. Was almost 20 when we got a phone permanently installed and it was because Rosie got Social Security from being disabled (Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis) and she wanted a telephone.

I use to talk to my Aunt Nee-Nee almost daily when she was alive. She was like a sister to Rosie and I. Very close. I love and miss her.

My Aunts, Uncles, & Cousins don’t know this but I  still get severely stressed when anyone visits us or when we visit them… I mean crying, shaking, sweating, getting all panicky, even can’t sleep, etc

Social Anxiety is MENTAL Disorder and the fear I have is very real. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety

I have deep social interaction problems. Have not been with a man since Nov 18th, 1994. Almost 20 years.

Only been intimate with 2 men.

Heck I have only kissed 4 men ever.

I didn’t even have a man ask me out till I was almost 25.

Ended up marrying him…. First man I ever even kissed. Married him because I didn’t think I could do any better. He was a drug head, alcoholic, no job, no motivation, no nothing. 21 days into the marriage he told me he never loved me and only married me because I was a virgin and he had never popped a ‘cherry’. What an @$$ Of course, I DIVORCED him.

I NOW know I deserve a decent man. A man with compassion, drive, high morals. Someone who is motivated and who loves and supports all my dreams to make the world a better place.

In the past few years, God has blessed me with a few Male friends whom I love and adore. We are “just friends.” Grateful for all of them. The majority of them are in The United Kingdom.

I never had girl pals in school… none ever visited my home and I never visited theirs. Too Shy. I did have a few friends I would talk to AT school.

Being overweight all my life, I was bullied all-throughout school. I could not handle being made fun of on a daily basis and it made me drop out of school when I was 16. I was considered the most intelligent girl in my class as well as the shyest. Both true… but also SADLY  Also known as “the FATTEST!”

I weighed 199 lbs when I was 11/12.

I  now weigh less than that at the age of 48.

You have such a pretty face.. has been uttered to me a million times.

Hell.. what about my beautiful mind? My compassionate heart?… no it has always been pretty face, fat body, you need to lose weight, etc.

I now have a girl pal who loves to hang out with Rosie and I. We love Dani-Shae. Never had a female friend who visited us … EVER till last year. God blessed us when Dani-Shae came into our lives.

I get so stressed and worried about dating. I am a caregiver to my sis Rosie and will always be. Not even sure how to begin dating nor how to explain my situation with Rosie. Rosie and I are always together 24-7-365. How would dating and a man fit into that? I have a few personal ads on some dating sites and I receive around 500 messages a month from men wanting to date me.  I have yet to respond to any. Scared. Uncertain.

I have major panic attacks, or used to… They are not as bad as they once were but sometimes happen for no apparent reason.

I can be so freaking moody with everyone. Including my Dad and Rosie. Grateful they are able to cope with my moodiness… Wish I could do a better job coping with Life in general.

Been awhile since I have posted here about my social anxiety. Wish I could end this posting that my social anxiety was ameliorated… or at least partially relieved. Alas I can not. Not YET! Maybe someday.

I am asking God to make me an extrovert. Want to conquer all this fear and shyness that I possess. Use me dear Lord for your glorification. I surrender.

~Angela

 

 

April 7, 2014, at 1:51 pm

Thanks to Shane… We have a Juicer

A few months ago my dear friend Shane sent Rosie and me a Breville Juice Fountain Plus Machine.

It is the most extravagant gift ANYONE other than our parents have ever bought us.

I have cried numerous times just thinking someone cared enough to get us such a nice and healthy gift.

I am not sure of the reason but I could not open the juicer till now. I just could not open the box. Anxiety gets the best of me at times. The gift truly means so much to me.

FINALLY: Well we opened it today and made our first GREEN juice and I loved it. Thanks Shane. I will forever cherish our friendship.

Have not gotten Rosie to TRY it yet. Rosie hates the majority of veggies so we will have to concentrate on a fruit juice for her.

I am amazed at how powerful the juicer is.

So scary at first.

Zoom, Zap, Whirl, JUICE.

Chef Shane’s Green Juice Recipe

4 celery stalks 2 green apples 8 leaves of kale 1 cucumber (make sure and do the cucumber AFTER the kale. It will help push thru any of the kale left in the processor )1/2 lemon peeled 1 thumb sized piece of ginger

I added a little salt and pepper. It was so good.

Can’t wait till dad gets back from his cancer doc. He is excited about trying it. Hope to be a daily juicer. Wanting to get EVEN healthier.

I am about 10lbs from my goal weight. Happy with most of my body except for the excess skin hanging from my tummy. Family doc says insurance will not pay for skin removal. But I plan on checking with a plastic surgeon once I lose the 10 additional pounds. I estimate that I have about 12-15lbs of excess skin on my stomach. With a tummy tuck I could wear a size 8 jeans… maybe smaller.

Been having mood swings but they have been stable since yesterday.

Doctor increased my lortab from 2x a day to 3x for my fibromylagia. Started yesterday. Seems to help with some of the pain. Looks like I will always be fatigued. Some days I have energy and motivation. Other days I can barely get out of bed.

I have lots of awesome plans for the future thanks to some dear friends from Nashville. So excited. God is good.

My life is changing for the better.

GRATEFUL

~Angela

 

 

 

April 5, 2014, at 2:33 pm

UNCLE Harold Gene Browning Obit

Harold and Charles Goode

Harold and Charles Goode

 

 GENE BROWNING. 78, of Springfield passed away Thursday April 3, 2014 at Eaglewood Care Center.

He was born August 19, 1935 in Beatyville, West Virginia, the son of Carl and Ruby (Blankenship) Browning.   Mr. Browning served honorably in the United States Army. He retired from Navistar. He was a member of Northside Baptist Church, a former member of AOPA, and he enjoyed fishing, camping, and boating. He was a charter boat captain and a licensed airplane pilot.   Survivors include his wife of 57 ½ years Mattie (Farley) Browning; two sons Phillip Browning of Northampton, MA and Robert (Shannon) Browning of Butler, PA; daughter-in-law Tina Browning of Springfield; grandsons Chaz Browning of Springfield and Justin Browning of Butler, PA; granddaughters Cheyenne Slaven and Abigail Browning, both of Springfield; great grandson Isaiah James Browning;   brothers Roy Browning of Eaton Rapids, MI and Hershell Browning of St. Louis, MO; sisters Annabel Bailey of WV and Loretta McClure of NC; sister-in-laws Levada Browning and Elva Browning; several nieces and nephews; and special friends Virginia Manning, Ellen Perkins, Rose Holland, and Bonnie Johnson.   He was preceded in death by his parents and brothers, James Browning, Donald Browning, and Carl Browning.   Visitation will be held from 2:00pm until 5:00pm Sunday in the JONES-KENNEY-ZECHMAN FUNERAL HOME.   Funeral services will be held at 11:00am Monday in the funeral home with Pastor Kirk Ross officiating. Burial, with military honors, will follow in Ferncliff Cemetery.  

April 3, 2014, at 4:21 pm

Sad & Hurt

I had 2 Uncle’s pass away within the past few days and I found out both had died in an online PUBLIC POSTING on Facebook.

It truly ‘hurt’ me that no one cared enough to call our family with this information. Asking the Lord to help me deal with everything. My heart is broken. What in the world have we become? A Society with a total lack of compassion? Hope not…. but the past week it seems that way.

Deeply saddened with the passing of my Uncles.

Praying that their families deal with their loss. Grant them peace and serenity.

~Angela

 

December 28, 2013, at 1:09 pm

Angela’s Twitter Ramblings December 2013

Here area few select pondering’s that I posted on Twitter the month of December 2013

People should paint the canvas of lives with brushstrokes of patience, sacrifice, vulnerability, faith, humility, love, & compassion. AMEN!

 

Grateful for all the experiences it took to get me where I am at… a place of clarity filled with serenity, love, compassion, faith & hope.

 

Sometimes life doesn’t give you what you WANT because you NEED something else. what you need often comes when you’re not looking for it.

 

Listen to God: He wants a one on one relationship with you! Pray about a situation and God will Guide you to the answer you seek.

 

God has a purpose for your pain, reasons for your struggles, & gifts for your faithfulness. DO NOT GIVE UP!

 

I don’t care about the presents,Underneath the Christmas tree. I just want U 4my own, More than U could ever know, Make my wish come true…

 

I admit that I talk 2 my mommy N heaven every day. I only spent a few days EVER away from her when both of us were hospitalized. Missing her.

 

Dear God, help me to put aside the things that are breaking my heart, to pray about things that break yours.

 

God please send me the people I need in my life to encourage me and guide me to do great things in your name and honor. I surrender All.

 

“When you miss me… Look up at the night sky…. I am up there watching and protecting you always.” ~Your loved ones.

 

There is a lesson we need to learn through all issues God places in our lives. Someday God will reveal the reason for everything.

 

Spirituality does not come from religion… it comes from your soul.

 

God didn’t lead you to this point to abandon you. Keep on trucking along. God is with You and will never fail you. Just be quiet and listen.

 

God is the reason why even in pain, I smile. In confusion, I understand. In betrayal, I trust. In fear, I continue to push forward.

 

Wish people would stop ‘selecting’ bible verses 2 follow. Read & Study the ENTIRE Bible. Pray. In the end all U need 2 know is GOD IS LOVE.

 

God always has your best interest at heart. When a door closes, you don’t know what God may be saving you from.

 

The God I serve is a God Of Love…. and not a bigot like He is being portrayed. So frustrated with people using The Name of God with hatred

 

So grateful that I have learned to love everyone no matter their race, religion, size, sexual preference. Love & acceptance!

 

I know all the illnesses that is laid upon me, God is walking beside me… cheering me on saying “He’s got this… don’t worry & keep going”

 

BE KNOWN for your kindness, compassion, sympathy, equality and love toward all people.

 

Stop WAITING for The weekend, Summer, New Years, etc Start living your life today. Celebrate the day, time, season you are in. LIVE LIFE!

 

If you want to know where you heart is, look where your mind goes when it wanders…

 

Love yourself first and then others will be attracted to your inner light. Smile inwardly and others will fall in love with you,

 

I know when the time is right God will bring me my mate. Asking for patience, guidance, and strength. EXCITED about what is ahead for me.

 

Don’t edit your dream… think big… make it something U can see in UR mind…God with help U materialize it with some effort…SURRENDER.

 

Someone clicking Like, Favoriting or commenting on a posting really can make my day. Simple little things lets me know I am loved. Thanks

 

Let your requests be made known unto God… the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts & minds through Christ.

 

Grateful that God thought I was good enough to be a caregiver to my lovely sis Rosie. She is such a special person. we are best friends.

 

Asking God to guide my mate to me. Give us both guidance, patience, fortitude, health, strength, love, family, protection. Prepare us both.

 

“Don’t tiptoe though life unless you are in a field of Tulips with Tiny Tim, ”

 

♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥

Rosie had a feeding tube for 9 months. It left a scar in shape of a HEART!

♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥♥❤♥❤❥

 

~Angela

 

 

December 27, 2013, at 10:44 pm

SO Many Blessings

I am blessed to be surrounded by so many loving friends and family.

For the past few weeks, I have been doing so much better. I have to thank my family and friends for all their love, support, and prayers.

Started on Victoza injections for my diabetes and my sugar is now controlled. I have lost 8 lbs in 3 weeks. Now skinner than I was when I was 11. Yes, ELEVEN!

My emotions are composed. My thoughts are lucid.

My body still fights the aches & pains of Fibromyalgia. I am doing better than I was but still not 100%… not sure IF I have ever been 100%.

Grateful that I have serenity. Tranquility ebbs from each and every pore of my chassis.

My sister Rosie is doing GREAT. Last year at this time the doctors were not sure she would survive. She has not only survived and beat the odds but has conquered so many other avenues. She is now a size 18 down from a size 34. So happy for her. Love that she can now buy clothes that fit here in almost every store and no longer need to be specially ordered. She is the happiest person I know. Always has been. Never lets ANYTHING get her down. I LOVE MY SISSY!

I want to thank God for bringing our friend Danielle in our lives. Never had a best girlfriend to hang out with. We now do and LOVE it! She has a new puppy, an Australian Cattle Dog named Tucker. They just visited us. Our dogs love Tucker. We all love Danielle. So does our Daddy.

Please keep Daddy in your prayers. Still has vision problems relating to his cataract surgery. I am worried he may have a touch of pneumonia. He has lung rattles at times.

Please continue to pray for Uncle Larry, Uncle Harold, and Aunt Earlene and the rest of my family. THANKS!

I want to Thank the Lord for my friends Rick & Shane. They have helped me overcome some of my shyness. They have taught me to be more tolerant & compassionate. They often put forth words that make me see various points of view that helps me to understand things from a different perspective. Shane & Rick have both enriched my life way beyond words could ever express. I LOVE THEM BOTH DEARLY! Please say a prayer for both Rick and Shane. Thanks!

Excited about 2014… and whatever delights it beholds for me.

I surrender my Life to Jesus.

AMEN.

~Angela

November 16, 2013, at 4:44 pm

Prayer Requests

Pray

Please pray:

      Uncle Larry: He had surgery to remove a brain tumor. They got it all but he needs radiation/chemotherapy for a lung tumor.

      Uncle Harold: He is having all sorts of health issues. He is in a assistant living facility.

      Aunt Earlene: She is having problems with her diabetes and circulatory system.

 

Dad, Rosie, and I send love and prayers to all of them and their Families.

~Angela

 

March 9, 2012, at 9:23 pm

Today: Shopping, Dining, Rosie and God

Rosie and I went out shopping today.

Went to Rack Room Shoes. I got 2 pairs of bjorndal sandals.

Went to TJ Maxx but didn’t buy anything.

Went to Office Max. Rosie got a touch pen for her new Ipad.. will be here on the 16th. My laptop is touch screen so I am having a blast! Also purchased some gel INK Pens.

We ate at The Davy Crockett Restaurant, choose a meat Plus 2-3 sides… all under $9.99 Sides includes salads as well as Banana Pudding.

Rosie got the Open Faced Roast Beef Sandwich, Mashed Taters and Banana Pudding. She has not touched the nana pudding and has enough Roast beef for 2 more meals!

Dad got the sirloin, slaw, brown beans and Nana Pudding. He brought ALL of the sirloin home for our dogs!

I had the country fried steak. Ate about 1/3 of it and  brought the rest home for the Boys (Snickers and Smoki). Mashed Taters, Side Salad (Country French Dressing) and Nana Pudding.

Smoki and Snickers went out with us. Dad stayed in the Van with the boys as we shopped.

I am THRILLED that Rosie is feeling so much better. She is back to her boisterous funny self… Thank God. I missed her. Love seeing her enjoying food. Been a long 7.5 months (Gastric Bypass) since she actually wants to eat and is able to enjoy it. BLESSED.

Going to pack clothes this weekend. Heading to West Virginia Next Sunday. Hoping to meet all of my West Virginia family at the new Arby’s in Pineville around 3 pm Sunday the 18th.

Pineville does NOT even have a McDonald’s. Closest McDonald’s is 13.48 miles away!

Closest Wal-Mart is 24.67 miles

Pineville does have a Dairy Queen now.

Going to call my Aunt Mattie and Uncle Harold (Springfield, OHIO) and let them know we are heading to Pineville. Hope they can meet us there.

Going to bleach Rose Lee’s Hair and Dye it a brighter red for Spring.

Dyeing mine Jet Black. Also going to cut some Bangs / Fringe to hide the wrinkles on my forehead. Yes, I do have wrinkles!

ALLERGIES are killing me. Sneezing. Breaking out in rashes when I go outside. Itching all over. Ear Tickles. Inflammation on my forehead. Sinus/Allergies Sucks!

Getting OLDER Sucks even-more-so.

Realizing that I let 46 years pass away without LIVING it.

Pray that I overcome my shyness. I want to have a bubbly, sparkling, boisterous personalty… I wish I could talk to men without having a panic attack. Wish I was able to be flirty. I just don’t have the confidence I wish I had. Always worried about something.

I still have Social anxiety.. afraid I am saying the wrong things. That I am bothering people. etc.

I am able to talk to gay men without any problem. Or I talk to men who live thousands of miles away so I won’t have to deal with them in person.

I Pray that I can start communicating with Straight Single men who live in Tennessee. Afraid of getting my heart broken again.

I have NEVER even had a girlfriend to talk with. No friends in School… I had few friends @ School but they never came to my house and I never went to theirs.  Never called and spoke on the phone… etc

Rose Lee is my best friend and Sissy.

John is my best male friend. He lives 3,500 miles away from here. Friends Only.

I have some friends online. Just acquaintances. I would love to be able to have friends in my life. Someone to hang out with. Do things with, etc  Laugh with. Cry With.

John is the only one who sees me cry. I share everything, all my thoughts, worries, anxieties. He knows me very well.

I bet I went 20 some years where I CRIED every single night. Feeling so lonely. I still cry on occasion but not like I use to.

I would LOVE to have a man to call me…not sure if I am ready.. I am getting there.

I have personal ads at a slew of websites. Get mail on a daily basis. Just don’t know which one I should write back so I don’t reply to any of them.

Asking God to guide me to the men, that will enhance my quality of life. Someone who will bring out the BEST in me. Someone who is Compassionate, Patient, Family Oriented and someone wants to help the less fortunate and who also adores animals.

I know the man God designed me for is out there praying to meet me. Praying for my family. I pray for that man every day and I have for 30 years. I know God wants me to have a helpmate. A Lover. A Friend. Praying that he enters my life soon.

I surrender my will to God’s will for my life.

Please Pray that God will help me overcome all my insecurities.

I Pray for confidence, the words to help encourage and bless others.

Use my smile to show God’s love to the world.

God, Here I Am.. Use me anyway you see fit. I am willing.

God Help me Help others.

I know I have it in me to overcome anything and everything that is holding me back from my full potential.

Change my personality Dear Lord… Make me bubbly, friendly, well spoken, and  kinder.

Make me selfless.

Give me the words that people need to hear.

USE ME.

Please USE ME Lord.

I surrender.

Ready to change.

Change starts NOW!

I pray for everyone who read this .

I pray for everyone in the world to be nicer to one another.

♥ GOD IS LOVE ♥

Angela Bell Goode

 

 

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